Rats!

He told me he was bitten by a rat one day. I tried to supress a laugh while thinking of how he could easily sit on a rat and squash it to death, but being the good girlfriend he thought I was, I tried to act concerned and inspected what he believed were two small rat bite marks on his forehead.

B2: "It's not a rat bite baby, you just might've scratched it or something..."

B1: "I think it's a rat bite (complete with a description of how it SHOULD qualify as a rat bite it having two ratty incisor marks and all)"

B2: "I think it was done by a mouse. Get a rat trap."

Rat. Rats. Mouse. Mouses. Mice. Mices.

Whatever.

These critters irk him so much that it makes me laugh everytime I think about it. Now I know the reason behind those elephants-being-afraid-of-mice depictions you see on kiddie cartoons.

The next day, I received this text message from him:

"Yikes baby! Had a bad dream about a big giant rat. Kept coaxing it out with bait then when I heard it rustle under some papers, I hit it with my shoe. Took several tries but was able to kill it. It was the size of a cat and I kept saying 'yuck yuck yuck' when I was moving it's body. But when I was about to throw it out, it fuckin' moved!It's red eyes glowed menacingly while wiggling that icky tail! I was about to hit it again when I woke up. I just had an encounter with the king of rats!"

Suddenly, I can't control the urge not to laugh out loud. And laughed out loud I did. The vivid description! The deep seated abhorrence! The drama! The emotional power of it all!

Let's see:
-horror movies
-dentists
-roaches
-tricycles
-rats

That's when it hit me... I fell in love with a big boy who chose not to get old. He's still, after all, a baby at heart. :P



I should go clean his room and scout for them imaginary rodents.