One of the most important things I have learned regarding men is this - they will always have that built in desire to acquire what you could consider toys for the big boys. This year, Basti placed three on his wish list - a brand new LCD TV (32 inches at the minimum - the type that would make you notice all the pores on Jimmy Kimmel's face), a new Quad core CPU (whatever that means... I'm not even aware of the specs of my laptop. as long as it powers up and gets me connected to the internet, it's just fine with me), and a 400cc motorcycle (which I always raise my eyebrows to since majority of my worst case patients involved two wheels and some beer). This list does not include some of his other "worldly" desires such as that Strada and his own Wii (which got substituted with a much cheaper PS2). Some of his man stuff like a laptop, his car,his Ipod and other valuables were acquired even before he met me so I think that was a good call on his part. Men... no matter how mature they become, their eyes would always light up with such toys that would make them feel.. well... more masculine.
That day, we decided to do Skye day one day earlier because we had our company Christmas Party scheduled on a Sunday. That would also give me time to scout for a cowboy hat that I could use as a part of my cowgirl costume for the party. I lost both of my boys for a minute so he called me and told me to go to the center part of the mall because he has something to show me. I immediately spotted him because of his height and he directed me to all those LCD TVs on display in time for Christmas. I knew it... he's using the moment as an opportunity! He knew for a fact that I was already pissed off that morning because the apartment TV that he acquired years before from Saudi Arabia has already served it's purpose and gave up on us already. Seething little smartass! He pointed me to one that one big screen that he really, really likes. I looked at the price tag and gave him "the look".
"Sige boss, thank you na lang. Nakuha na ako sa tingin e", he sheepishly told the salesman.
Don't get me wrong. We still keep our finances separate and I surely don't want to meddle in his accounts. We do splitskies on majority of our purchases but he gets the lion's share most of the time because he still is, after all, the alpha male. I told him he has all the right to buy whatever he wants since it is his money anyway, but ever since we got the apartment, we kinda took the whole training thing seriously, and that involves prioritization. We were talking about our earnings one time and I was all ranting about how my salary reduced by just so much when I shifted careers so I can't splurge on much yet. He told me that I was earning OK and he thinks it is more than enough. I told him that if only I was earning as much as him, we could easily splurge on the things we want and save a whole lot more. I also suggested that he should get one of those Save Up accounts that I have which takes off a certain amount off my force me to save.
"Baby, I don't have any salary", he nonchalantly said.
"Yes you don't, but you do earn a lot!" referring to his practice together with his countless other "rakets".
Given that, there are still some things we have to consider for the future's sake like our bills, his bills, my bills, Skye day expenses, travel allowances, tuition fees, taxes, dates, the ______ fund, gas,and plans for this one solid, big time investment. So, no matter how much I want to indulge him into buying all the things he want (or need according to his vocabulary), we have to constantly remind each other that we are not millionaires. We admit that we are both bad at money matters. So bad that he has to hire an accountant and give her a hard time just to take charge of his huge taxes (All for you, Philippines! All for you!) and other expenses.
After that incident over at the LCD display, I mulled things over (added to that the exasperation that our apartment is now TV-less, I told him something that came up on our conversation for the first time...
"Why not we go to the Automatic center and get you your TV?"
His eyes suddenly sparkled like a kid getting a toy he really wanted at last, and with Skye in tow like this starting family, we went to the appliance center to scout for our first conjugal purchase. This is not actually the first conjugal purchase we're about to make. I mean, we have the apartment and all the furniture and stuff inside it. Well, majority of it was out of his own pocket, but then again, he earns a lot more than I do, so there! :P Still, it is something that we consider a big leap in our relationship. I began asking things like, "If ever things don't work out, who's gonna get the TV? It's easy with the dogs since we have one of each." etc, etc. He shushed me and told me that pretty soon, everything will be written in stone or something to that effect and that if we can spend on things like travelling, why not on something solid and useful? We could scrap out a few of our useless expenses so that we could acquire our own appliances. It's like preparing our future home, he said.
I told him that if ever we're going to spend on something, we should compromise. That means erasing the LCD TV out of the list since the cost could already buy us other stuff that we actually need. The next step was choosing what TV to buy. He was eyeing for this big screen one that would be bearable if we pay for it on an installment basis at 0% interest using his credit card. Men are considered experts with all things technical, so he knew what he was looking for, a big one that is of a reliable brand and with those thingamajigs that will connect it with our DVD player. Then again, I suggested that we don't really need that big of a TV since we have a very small space to begin with and we only stay there for a few days a week. I may be bad at math but I told him of the possibility that if we could get a much cheaper set of a reliable brand, we could also get ourselves a new refrigerator (which is what I want,este, we need). He gave in easily, and at that moment, I realized just how much he values my judgment and puts my needs into consideration. It is not just him and what he wants... it is now US, and the decisions that we are now making are mutual. Since time is running out, we opted to get the TV set first and deal with the fridge later on. When the time came to choose what specific set we are about to purchase, I gave him the floor.
"You decide on what one you want, baby. You're the man of the house"
With the careful deicision making strategies of a real man of the house, he settled for a 21 inch set, flat screen, slim type one with all the works that would cost us less than 500 bucks each on a 12 month payment. That leaves us with enough to spare to get our new fridge.
"Baby, for an additional P900, you can get a brand new DVD too!" he added before sealing the deal.
"We already have a DVD".
"This one is just P900 - and it is branded! We can use it as a back up and have the other one placed in your room over at your parent's house".
Oh crap... men.
That's how it happened. We are now proud owners of a new TV set. It may not be much, but it's special because it is the first thing we bought (aside from the bed, curtains, sheets, etc) that was out of a very meaningful discussion and compromise. That made us enjoy our new purchase all the more. In this relationship, we utilize his MBA skills to make it work. I see him as the CEO - in charge of the future plans and goals. I, on the other hand, am acting as the COO - in charge of the daily operations. SKye is, well, the lucky tyke who is now placed on allowance and is learning to give up on toys and junk so that he could save up for more meaningful things.
That night, he happily and excitedly arranged our new set, popped open a few drinks, and celebrated a milestone in our relationship with a movie seen through a TV set that we wouldn't have to pound on anymore in order for it to work.
I'd say it was a good deal.
